Sunday, 27 May 2012


If my life was a movie this would be the part where I scream “SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEEEE!!!” #Smallville #TheLionKing
I opened my eyes to the glaring light full in my face streaming in through the huge window to my bedroom/sanctuary/den and for the first time I hated the position and size of this window. Why the heck did I choose to face my bed right at the damn window?
I rolled over and stayed awake only long enough to check the time on my watch interface. It read ‘10:20’
“crap” I thought.
My mind registered that it was a Sunday and there was a whole bunch of people at church (where I am supposed to be at this moment) I was already disappointing because I was definitely not gonna be able to show up not to mention the big man upstairs who’s probably had it with me. I reached for my mobile phone and found a missed call from my sister which I ignored and went straight to my mobile browser.
Facebook update: “something has gotta give” close and throw away the phone and back to sleep.
Fast forward 2 hours later and I am woken up by the sound of my phone ringing. I grab it and pick the call without bothering to look at the caller ID. I put the phone on my ear not even bothering to speak, too lazy to take the effort to open my eyes
“How are you” voice that sounded vaguely like my sister’s
“I am so hung over” replied some hoarse, croaky, deep voice that must have come from me
“When will you take charge of your life you unserious boy” definitely the voice of my annoying sister
I decided to assume that was a rhetoric question and didn’t even bother to grace it with an answer
“anyways …” she continued “I need to borrow your blah blah blah …”
My mind seems to have a bu nch of words that switch it off and ‘borrow’ is one of them so right on cue it went for a walk. I managed to catch something along the lines of her need to use my backpack for certain duration and I must have murmured in the affirmative just to get rid of her coz she hung up without further verbage (LOL)
Close my eyes again and pretend I didn’t notice its 2 hours later. Something about the conversation with my sister sort of registered in my head however and of course it had to be about time. Being a swimmer I am one of those people obsessed with time because the difference between success and failure is usually a matter of micro seconds. (I prefer to call myself ‘time conscious’) my body alarm clock first started by hinting to my brain that lunch time on Sunday is at 1.30pm (about an hour away) and then all sorts of bells started going off in my head; ‘shower time!’ ‘toilet-visit time!’ ‘dude you were supposed to be up by 8am time!’ ‘seriously dude GET UP!’
“OKAY, OKAY” I answered just to shut them up.
I stirred and tried to get up and gave up even before I was half way through that process. I threw the covers back off myself and turned a full 180 degrees so I can get the light out of my face by facing the opposite direction and caressed the bed sheets thinking “oh what a soft bunch of material …”
Somewhere my phone started ringing again.
“Come on! Its Sunday for crying out loud!”
I located the wretched phone and looked at the caller ID with the intention of switching it off. It read ‘Samantha’ change of mind
Hmmm interesting! She never calls me. I clear my voice and test it with a hello before picking up the call but all that comes out is a sleepy hoarse whispery sound
“Damn” oh well I answer the phone “hello” I whisper
“Nothing” I check my phone again and it shows the phone is still in call
“hello” I say again and I hear the unmistakable sound of the call droping
“Damn” sometimes I hate the stupid network. It tends to fail to get service all the time plus I like Samantha and getting a call from her is always cheering so am understandably mad at my phone for screwing up her call. So I sit up to redial the number
That’s when I get hit by massive pounding in my temple. It feels like my head has  just been slammed  against the wall. I am too dazed to for speech. The only thing I am aware of is the incessant and all consuming pounding that keeps throbbing inside my skull. I instinctively grab my head hopping that would stop it while realizing at the same time how futile that is so I decide to ignore and focus calling Samantha again. She was at church and hoped she would see me.
“I didn’t go to church today. What are you doing afterwards? Are you heading Home or your place?” I inquired all at once. No answer …
“hello?” I say louder in the headset and put it on loudspeaker because I can’t hear her clearly
The phone battery dies
‘grrrr idiot! Stupid phone’ I mutter and look for the charger and don’t bother to retry calling Sam back. I remember I had promised Christine she would see me at church today. Gosh why the heck do I do this to people who trust me?
I send a quick apologetic text message about me being unwell thinkin “dude, you are smashed and paying for last night idiot and it’s your damn fault” but I guess it’s not completely untrue that I said I was unwell. Technically hung over falls under ‘unwell’ I mean have you felt the intensity of the pounding in my head. Mental note never to take more than 2 shots of Gilbey’s cocktail
I slump back onto my bed in an attempt to catch that blissful slumber one more time but it’s not to be. My housemate pounds on my door calling my name but to me it sounds like she’s yelling. I ignore it for a couple of seconds which felt like minutes hoping she would go away. She doesn’t.
I relent and answer ‘yeeeessssss!!!’
She wants to borrow (what’s with people borrowing today) something that necessitates me getting up and disconnecting stuff. I consider being mean and decide to go along with it.
I answer “I am using IT’
“you have two” she retorts and she’s right. I have two power extensions and I was only using one at the moment.
“Damn” I mutter under my breath and grudgingly get up, grab the extension and stagger out of my room sulking and cursing my brother for inviting me to that crazy birthday party for his even crazier girlfriend and her gang of insane hot chics. I start having recollections of last night. Every one of the images that pops up involves me and a skimpy chic in high heeled shoes and very short dress backing it and rubadabing me.
I force myself not to think any further and drop the extension to Tini and Rhoda my other housemate who asks
“What time did you get home?”
“I don’t know”
I actually try to think about it and I have no idea how and when I got home. I can’t remember the last time I got that sloshed and I start telling myself ‘this has seriously got to stop’ as I drag myself to the bathroom. Lord knows if I had a dollar for the number of times I’ve said to myself “it has got to stop!”
In the bathroom I quickly try to rinse the bitter taste from my mouth “why does the sweet punch have such a bitter after taste” I whine to myself “bloody cocktails”
I dash some cold water into my face at the sink and look at my reflection in the mirror.
HORRIFIC!! Is that mee???
My eyes are so red I can’t believe I can actually see with them, my face is oily and puffy and my expression shocked. God forbid Jaz ever sees me like this. She will definitely dumb my sorry ass and with good reason. It must be a crime walking around looking this messed up. I jump into the showers and turn on the water. I get pincers and daggers of cold water to my skin and I cringe but the momentary torture turns into utter bliss when that feeling of relief washes over me from head to toe as the water runs over me. I close my eyes and savor the moment thinking this is why God created showers.
I dry myself off and once back in my room I look at my room like I was seeing it for the first time. Unlaid bed, clothes, shoes and socks scattered everywhere. I take stock of my situation, stomach growling, so much cleaning to do and I am not touching any of it. I grab the trousers from last night and with relief find forty thousand in my pockets along with scrawny piece of paper with a number written on it along with a name which simply read ‘Berna’
I grab my phone and go through the dialed numbers and sure enough I find Berna along with a couple of unidentified numbers. I sit down on my bed and go through the morning after drill
Rule number 1: No hanging out with my bro
Rule Number 2: No drinking Gilbey’s Cocktail
Rule Number 3: Ah this sucks …
Just another weekend in the life of C-rad. I start getting dressed.

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